The way you move, your voice intonation, the speed at which you talk, your posture, your gaze, your attitude, the emotions you share, the words you use. The list of parameters influencing the quality of your communication is long.

The most important thing, however, even before understanding and using the tools I’ve just outlined, is to take into account two essential aspects of communication.

First, training.
To become great at communication, you must have the courage to engage in real conversations. Although this is evident, it is important for me to remind you that communication is a practical skill. Because it is through trying, and eventually failing, that you truly enhance your ability to communicate effectively. By creating interactions, you will naturally develop a sense of what you should say and what you should not say. This training step allows you to deeply understand the dynamics of the interaction between you and other individuals.

Second, sincerity.
You have to genuinely be yourself when you communicate. Even with a plethora of intriguing tools to utilize in the realm of communication, it is crucial to always remember your true self. You are not playing a role other than your identity here; it is simply a direct route to feeling really bad. Do not forget your values, do not forget your goals, and do not become someone other than who you truly are.

This results in meaningful communication, thereby enhancing the quality of any interaction.

Now that these two aspects are clear, let’s explore concrete communication tools.

1 – Speech. This is probably the most obvious one. What you say, and the order in which you say it, are important. You want to connect with your listeners and evoke emotions within them. The first step to achieve this is to understand the purpose of your vision and the objectives behind your speech.

So, ask yourself this question: What do you want to achieve? Then you’ll have a far better idea of what you are going to say during the conversation. The quality of your speech will be improved as a result.

The words that best shape your argument must also be well chosen. The richer your vocabulary is, the more flexibility you have to express your emotions with great precision.

One aspect to be careful about is that your speech, as well as your vocabulary, should be adapted to the individual you are talking to. You must use a language that the other party can understand.

Let’s consider a scenario where there is a knowledge gap in your favor in the subject of discussion. In this case, do consider the possibility that your conversation partner may not know as much as you do. Therefore, take the time to either use words that are easy to understand or define the challenging terminologies in your speech.

2 – Rhythm and Intonation. The speed at which you speak can betray your internal emotional state. Leaving a moment of silence after a sentence can increase the importance given to it. A deeper and calm voice can be reassuring, unlike a high-pitched voice that can be alarming.

There are many aspects to consider. And, well, the trick to being good at this is to become aware of how you or someone who excels in talking with people usually communicates when feeling good, at ease, calm, and confident. Then, you just have to remember what rhythm and intonation were used in this peculiar situation.

My point regarding rhythm and intonation is that you can easily tell when someone is pleasant to listen to. This is an easy parameter to be aware of. The best way to achieve a similar result is to emulate someone who excels at communication. That’s why I do not go into much greater detail. Just copy what works well.

3 – Body Language. The way you move and your gestures illustrate your speech, providing an interesting contrast to your storytelling.
If you want to be both understandable and interesting, it’s essential to provide coherent movement, lulling the listener into the rhythm of your speech.

Your posture indicates to others how at ease you are during conversations.
The openness conveyed by your posture truly reflects your comfort. A closed, curled-up posture does not make people want to communicate with you. You have to appear open to discussion. Simple.

Your gaze reflects your level of confidence and the interest you have in the person you’re talking to.
How likely is it that the person listening to you will feel comfortable and take interest in what you say if you do not even commit to giving them your fullest attention? Look into the person’s eyes.

*From my own experience and based on research, during male-male interaction, excessive eye contact can be perceived as offensive.

4- Emotions. This is about showing passion. Being vulnerable.

Through your speech, you have the ability to express emotions. And, well, it’s by bringing your emotions to the forefront that you really succeed in captivating your listener.

Because not only does it show that you dare to reveal yourself / be yourself, which is already a form of courage that people are likely to consider, whether consciously or unconsciously, but this extra “communication layer” also adds value and importance to your speech. I mean, it makes obvious the fact that you genuinely mean what you say, as emotions reveal the state you are in when you express yourself. This form of vulnerability could lead to better relationships between people by fostering deeper communication.

5 – Attitude. People need to feel valued when you communicate with them, and this happens when you genuinely commit to the conversation. There, you will bring out something positive from it.

Let me explain: If the attitude you have toward your listener(s) shows any form of non-involvement, it is clearly reflected in the quality of your speech, rhythm, intonation, gestures, and emotional investment. This is not good. Therefore, talk to people who sincerely interest you because you will then naturally engage and be invested in the conversation. If the person you are talking to is not a matter of choice but is nevertheless an important interaction, make the effort to honestly involve yourself in the conversation.

In key sentences.

You have to show commitment to the conversation.

You should be sincere with yourself and your audience.

Talk to people you’d like to talk with.